Kurt Schank's Album: Wall Photos

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*Things I Learned in the South*





*A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.*



*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.*



*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South,

plus a couple no one**’s seen before.*



*If it grows, it**’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.*



*‘**Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words.*



*It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!*



*‘**Jaw-P’? means ‘Did ya’ll go to the bathroom’?*



*People actually grow and eat okra.*



*‘**Fixinto’ is one word. It means ‘I’m fixing to do that’.*



*There is no such thing as ‘lunch’. There is only dinner and then there is

supper.*



*Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when

you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.*



*Backwards and forwards means ‘I know everything about you’.*



*The word **‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning ‘Did you eat?*



*You don**’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it

is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.*



*You don**’t PUSH buttons, you MASH ‘em.*



*‘**No, Jew?’ is a common response to the question, ‘Did you bring any

beer?’*



*You measure distance in minutes.*



*You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.*



*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,

grain, insect, or animal.*



*You know what a **‘DAWG’ is.*



*You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.*



*You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony’s, Tabasco and ketchup.*



*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but

require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and

gossip.*



*You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.*



*You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit **‘a bit warm’.*



*You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and

Christmas.*



*Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as **‘goin’ Wal-Martin’ or

‘off to Wally World’.*



*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew

weather.*



*Fried catfish is the other white meat.*



*We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can

drive dag-nabbit.*



*You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and

those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.*
Added April 27, 2019

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