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Bring Back the Republic of the Rio Grande

  • Last Friday February 22, 2019, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi visited the Texas city of Laredo to draw attention to herself during a national emergency. Pete Saenz, the mayor of Laredo, presented Pelosi with the key to the city. He also bestowed her with the impressive title “Honorary President of the Republic of the Rio Grande.”


    When Saenz declared Pelosi the president, she responded by saying, “I love that. Hey, we have a woman president.”


    Pelosi herself seems to believe she is a president, and she told European leaders in Brussels that her power is equal to that of President Trump. While Democrats may view one government official presenting someone who has deluded themselves into believing they are a de-facto president with an imaginary presidential title in an independently established nation that no longer exists as troubling, Republicans should see it as an opportunity, one that could lower crime and get rid of Pelosi.


    The obvious thing to do here is to declare the city of Laredo the New Republic of the Rio Grande. This map indicates the boundaries of this new nation.



    Laredo is more dangerous than 81% of American cities, and 3.26 out of every 1,000 of the city’s residents were victims of violent crime last year. The average for the US is 2.49. Laredo also has a floundering economy, with 31.3 of its residents living at or below the poverty level, which is 107% above the national average. With a per capita income 47% lower than the national average and a median household income 29% lower than the national average, one thing this Democrat-run city can’t claim is that they’re WINNING.


    Pelosi is also dangerous, not just to Americans, but also to migrants. By refusing to support voter ID and border security measures, she lets criminals into this country and encourages migrants to make the dangerous trek north. Pelosi supports any number of anti-American positions while working with international politicians to weaken our country. Let’s let her weaken her own country instead. One she already has the key to. We can lock the door behind her before she realizes the key doesn’t work, locking all of that crime in with her.


    During her border speech Nancy Pelosi said, “While there is no emergency at the border, it’s a mythology by the president, not the reality at the border. And so, people have to realize that.”


    We Conservatives are ready to stop believing in myths. Let’s make Pelosi’s presidency a reality. Adios, Nancy Pelosi. Now is as good a time as any to let you know that once you’re sitting safely in your Bizarro White House in the New Republic of the Rio Grande, we’re revoking your US passport.



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